In Memory: Phyllis Tillinghast McBride, Age 95

Phyllis Tillinghast McBride, long time, devoted Rye resident, died at her home on September 16th, 2024 at the age of 95. 

Born in Cleveland, OH, Phyllis was the youngest child of beloved parents, Percival Tillinghast and Mary Emma MacNaughton. Sister of Carol and Lad, Phyllis, called “Babe” by her father, discovered at an early age the power of imagination, the company of books, a love of learning, and above all, the great gift of friendship. As a girl growing up during World War ll, Phyllis prayed for the lights to come back on in the world. Her family faithfully attended St. Paul’s Episcopal Church in Cleveland, and sitting in the pew, they made a complete choir singing in 4 part harmony. 

Phyllis, already an aunt at 13 years old, excelled at Laurel School for girls in Cleveland and then went on to Vassar College where her mother, Mary, a singer, was class of 1912. Following in her mother’s footsteps, Phyllis, class of 1951, also distinguished herself as a performing artist at Vassar. The college’s prestigious drama department cast Phyllis in the most demanding roles such as Hedda Gabler in Ibsen’s epic work and Queen Hecuba in the Trojan Women. Phyllis rose to the challenge, and the rigorous training she received at Vassar prepared her for a spot in the resident company of The Cleveland Playhouse. After three years at the Playhouse, Phyllis traveled to NYC, auditioned and won a Kinsman Trust full scholarship to study at The Royal Academy of Dramatic Art. Among her peers at RADA were Peter O’Toole and Albert Finney. Their class was considered the most remarkable group of the time. 

Upon returning to Cleveland from London, Phyllis met and after seven dates, married decorated WWll veteran, Richard Lee McBride in 1956. The couple moved to NYC where Dick began his career at Milliken and Co. and they started a family. Phyllis and Dick raised their young children in a small, historic house known as the Wishing Well in Rye Brook before moving to their Grace Church Street family home in Rye where they lived for over 50 years. 

The center of life in Rye for Phyllis and Dick was the Rye Presbyterian Church, and both were extremely active in their church all their lives. During the turbulence of the 1960’s, the couple was drawn to the church’s gifted pastor, The Rev. Joseph P. Bishop. Joe was their pastor and beloved friend until his death in 2018. Phyllis sang in the chancel choir for over 30 years. Throughout her life, she faithfully shared her remarkable theater training with her church community. As a lector in worship, reading scripture, Phyllis brought the word to life. As a director, Phyllis put on the annual church Christmas Pageant for 35 years, teaching countless children and teens over the years to play a role and speak for an audience. This Nativity play with a live baby Jesus, narrators, carols, glittering young angels, teen shepherd boys and adult Kings, started off with Joseph and Mary leading a live pony down the aisle of the church. She also directed, at RPC in the early 80’s, local teens in Shakespeare plays adapted by 1950’s Rye Midland School teacher, Al Cullum. Phyllis further served her church as Sunday school teacher, thrift shop co- founder, deacon and member of the Session. Later on, she embraced an additional church community, All Souls Parish in Port Chester. 

In the early 80’s, Phyllis built a second career as a professional storyteller through the Westchester Council of the Arts. For over a decade, she was hired to perform from memory, word for word, classic stories of courage, love and sacrifice like “The Happy Prince” or “The Wave” for large groups of school children or women’s groups across the county. Playing all the characters, Phyllis made the story come alive for listeners of all ages. To prepare, she rehearsed these stories for her husband, Dick, her biggest fan. 

An avid reader, a recounter of history, a writer of letters and responsible citizen, Phyllis remained informed about global issues. She demonstrated her love of history and country at the local level by being involved in Rye politics and civic events. Most notably, in 1976 Phyllis directed the elaborate Rye Bicentennial celebration casting Rye’s professional actors as revolutionary figures come to life. Even Paul Revere, Rye’s young Peter Bancel, arrived on horseback to warn the crowds gathered on the Village Green. With enduring faith in democracy, Phyllis, at age 90, recited the Declaration of Independence for Rye’s 4th of July Celebration held at the Osborn in 2019. 

As a volunteer reader at Port Chester Head Start and for many years before that, at the Carver Center, Phyllis enthusiastically read aloud to groups of young children week after week into her upper 80’s. Through reading, she helped cultivate community connection with children, parents, and their teachers in Port Chester. Children’s books, puppets, and a felt board were always in the trunk of Phyllis’s car. Twelve grandchildren spanning 22 years were also the lucky listeners to their Nana reading to them. 

A born hostess, Phyllis loved to cook and entertain and she viewed hospitality as a way of nurturing relationships with family and friends. Partnering with Dick, she created a beautiful setting for guests indoors and outdoors, and together they hosted parties with friends, family holiday celebrations, birthday dinners, garden Easter egg hunts, and picnics at Manursing Island Club. For decades, their growing family enjoyed gathering at Manursing to mark important occasions. 

An enduring passion for Phyllis, with her husband, Dick, was gardening. In their retirement, they enjoyed visiting gardens and historic sites abroad and together they continued to beautify their property of 50 years. At the Wave Hill gardens in the Bronx, Phyllis, in the 90’s and early 2000’s, served as a docent guiding groups through their magnificent gardens. Dick and Phyllis passed on their appreciation of nature to their children and especially enjoyed personal tours of their children’s gardens. While living at the Osborn, each summer Phyllis helped create and tend a community terrace garden for residents and staff to enjoy. 

Phyllis’s main legacy was her love of people. Those who came into her presence were greeted with a radiant smile, a cheerful voice, and felt welcomed and cherished. She was keen to learn about the other person and was ready to share in his or her experience with excitement or empathy. Phyllis poured her love and energy into her family always and did her best to encourage her children and grandchildren and support their talents and interests. She had a tremendous gift of lifting up others, and she will be forever adored and missed by her family and friends. 

Phyllis was predeceased by her devoted husband of 53 years, Richard Lee McBride, in 2009. She is survived by her three children and their spouses Richard (Angeles Pedemonte Araoz) Gay (Howard Kraft) and Phoebe (Thomas Madden) and her 12 beloved grandchildren, Meghan McBride (Cliff Gulibert) Gillian McBride, Ian McBride, Celine McBride, Molly McBride, Lucas McBride, Caitlin Kraft (James Bilnoski) Alex Kraft, Liam Kraft, Philip Madden, Brendan Madden, Hope Madden plus two wonderful great grandchildren, Talulah Gulibert and Bennett Bilnoski. The last family member of her generation, Phyllis is also survived by 14 loving nieces and nephews, their spouses, children and grandchildren. 

A Memorial Service for Phyllis celebrating her long and blessed life, will be held on Saturday, November 2nd at 2pm at the Rye Presbyterian Church, followed by a reception in the church Assembly Hall. In lieu of flowers, a donation may be made to the Rye Presbyterian Church in Phyllis’s name for a tree to be planted in her memory.