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Sunday, August 14, 2022
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Pamela on Purchase: STOP Sign Poetry



this edition of Pamela on Purchase, MyRye.com columnist
Pamela Baur delivers STOP sign poetry.

If you’ve read my posts you know I pay attention to signs. Even if I do interpret them as I see fit, when signs come up I do TRY to pay attention. This had me think it was funny when Jay (publisher of MyRye.com) asked me what I thought of the stop signs in town.

I thought to myself, “I don’t like to slow down let alone STOP!” and my driving is pretty reflective of how I go about life!

Pamela's STOP 

Growing up I learned the more I do, harder I work, and faster I go the better off I’d be. So the whole yield, stop, obey commands have never worked for me unless they were aligned with what I wanted.  I will say this is not always a winning formula and the persistence I’ve applied to some areas creates more resistance than avail.

So, in looking at what’s come up in the past few weeks, I’m inviting myself to listen and pay attention to the signs around town on Purchase Street.

One sign that popped up last week was a fellow writer in Starbucks who taught me a new writing style called Cinquain Poetry, which is a 5 line poem, pretty simple and so to the point there is only room for intentional words to be included. The messages can then be to the point and intentional communicating an idea or a vision. He told me practicing this style of writing helps to stream line what one says, even in their day to day speaking, it’s a practice to stay focused and clear around one image, one message. So around signs I could say…

Bold Clear
Stop Listen Relax
Waiting, Looking, Following

If the cinquain style of writing will lend itself to cut away what isn’t needed and have me more intentionally focused on what I wanted to keep in my messages, I’m all for it, I’ll start speaking in cinquain to simplify and let go of all the extra and unnecessary over thinking , over working, over doing.

It’s in the simplicity and in the pause of stopping that allows for the clarity and space to again feel what it is to experience GO.

More of Pammy’s poetry to come, keep checking back!


  1. And, Zahm…written just like a former school board member…are you going to crack me with your ruler, next? This is a blog, pal, and thank God I’m not picking up my Nobel Peace Prize this week or you’d have the Allied Forces after Thee Rye Dissident. Spammer? Do I sound like a peddler of canned meats? All bow down to the Great Firewall of Rye!

  2. @sorta – “Thee” is not a stylized way of writing “The”. It means “You”. The way you are using it makes no sense.
    Also I went to your web site. It’s sexist and just plain bad.
    Finally, you don’t understand what censorship is. A private medium has a right to print or not to print as it chooses.
    Is the New Yorker censoring when it rejects bad writing? No.
    It is not censorship to block your posts. It’s a mitzvah.

  3. Yeah, totally SortaSingle! Right on! You Rye Blue Blood guys start a blog and then wanna block out anyone who doesn’t agree with you or isn’t in your little Beach Club circle. Lame!

  4. And, another thing, Charmain, some of us love the new blog because it’s revealing how people behave and giving a moral compass as to how they should not behave. So, while the so-called press is writing about stop signs all I can say is this: from what I’ve seen with my own eyes, there are no stop signs when it comes to the indiscretions of Rye’s arranged marriages. As for censorship, get with the 21st century, you haven’t even set-up your blog to have an editor approve or delete posts before going up…pretty pedestrian…and then you have the nerve to complain about your own ineptitude. Typical of Rye…shallow, blind and entitled.

  5. @Rye Skater

    You’re skating on thin ice here. I’m not a Rye “blue blood” — I’m from Schenectady, and the only Beach Club I frequent is the Walmart 4′ x 15′ above ground pool in my backyard. So much for your silly assumptions.
    Further, I certainly don’t advocate blocking IP addresses for disagreements. Disagreements I can handle — obviously.
    The guy is spamming, which all legitimate blogs ban, and rightly so. No one has time or patience for repetitive nonsense — but you, apparently.

  6. Since this is posted on a site entitled Myrye.com “Observations about Rye, NY” Here’s my observation: I’m dumbfounded that I’m subjected (by my own hand) to read this crap. I own a business in a small town, very similar to Rye and here I am googling for information on how to find funds for my business…how I landed on this disaster of a blog, I don’t know. In times like this are we really writing about stop signs? Dear Lord…how about writing about saving some of the businesses and citizens that are drowning. Or is it that Rye, New Canaan and/or Darien protected by “the bubble”. Sortasingle guy – I went on your blog – you have balls to write what you do, I’m pretty sure that some of the people you write about in Rye are not pleased that you are uncovering their secrets, I do find you quite annoying though….And Chairman, with all due respect – you said “A private medium has a right to print or not to print as it chooses.” A blog is not a private medium. It is an open forum, it’s only out of courtesy that the blogging medium is given a “delete post” button.

  7. And Chairman, with all due respect – you said “A private medium has a right to print or not to print as it chooses.” A blog is not a private medium. It is an open forum, it’s only out of courtesy that the blogging medium is given a “delete post” button.

    @ smallbusiness
    I feel your pain, believe me.
    As to the above, I must repectfully disagree. While this is a public forum, it is maintained and moderated by a private citizen. He sets the rules.
    Many blogs restrict membership and /or moderate comments. Why, because they’re private media — they can choose how and what is posted, and by whom.
    You say you went to that site? It’s awful — poorly written, sexist, angry and vulgar.
    But you’re right — he is annoying.

    PS my name is Char mi an not Chairman. : )

  8. Char mi: poorly written? You clearly haven’t read the blog…and, who are you to judge a blog? Are you a blogger? Blogging is not writing in your 20th century little world, it’s a soap box, a rant. As for vulgar? You must be one of these people who can’t see the content and the ideas because someone uses the “F” word or “C” word and you disregard the content because of your conservative upbringing when the only vulgar thing happening in Rye is all the cheating, discrimination, drugs and corruption. That’s vulgar. And, he’s trying to be annoying as he’s unveiling the real Rye by holding up a mirror…don’t like the reflection? Look away.

  9. I’ll be writing a Skater blog for the SortaSingle guys next week. Rye Skater Haters! My son was hassled again yesterday by the cops for riding at Osborne! What the urethan skateboard wheels were harming the tarmac? Do they yell at kids for bouncing basketballs? Having a catch? Throwing a frisbee? Juggling a soccer ball? BTW: The town closed the skate park; so where are kids supposed to skate? Apparently in Rye, they’re not supposed to skate.

    Meanwhile, entitled town MILFs were blowing by in their Jack Bauer / 24 Black SUVs (w/tinted windows) as they raced to Rye Beach Pharmacy – while yacking on their Crackberrys – to buy their latest stash of Lexapro and Xanax before they sold out!

    None of them were ticketed, I bet. And, if they were they’d get out of jail free by showing that little medallion so many keep in their glove boxes; given to them by the Po-Po. Yeah, I’ve seen them…witnessed it, so don’t tell me.

    Two sets of rules, apparently.

    I am mad as hell and not gonna take it anymore!


  10. Totally, Skater78, but that’s Rye…small town Saturday Night. Lilly white. That’s why we moved back to Fort Green, Brooklyn…more diversity, great schools…skaters and more. Then, we vacation abroad or in Montauk where there are surfers and fishermen, diversity. Either you are in the beach clubs and get preferential treatment, or you are not…or, you’re like Char Mi and (I think) are married to an ex-cop – who, as I recall, is a good guy. Hey, put your real name on a blog and you put it out to the free world. They, too, are human and can inadvertently make wrong steps when it comes to the have and have nots. So, we look forward to your reading ur blog (from Brooklyn), and I think it’s cool that SortaSingle guys (whoever they are, who cares?) are open to letting outsiders participate…unlike much of Rye. But, when done blogging (which you are right, is not writing)…call a real estate broker in Brooklyn and relocate…’cause Rye won’t change, much…blogging or not.

  11. Where to start? Yes, I am a blogger, and a writer. I’ve been published – in the 21st century no less. Again, so much for your assumptions.
    Is that spammer’s blog poorly written? Yes, it is. You wrote the following however, so you wouldn’t know good writing:

    “…there are no stop signs when it comes to the indiscretions of Rye’s arranged marriages. As for censorship, get with the 21st century, you haven’t even set-up your blog to have an editor approve or delete posts before going up…pretty pedestrian…and then you have the nerve to complain about your own ineptitude. Typical of Rye…shallow, blind and entitled.”

    This above, Rye Skater Hater 78, makes it amusingly clear who is and is not reading before he/she writes. Despite your meandering rant ( good word, btw ) the fact is I’m not inept or blind or shallow or entitled because I didn’t “set up my blog” as you believe I should.

    It’s not my blog.

    Your “rebel” jargon went out with Holden Caufield. I was going to dismiss you as an angry young man ( woman?) full of futile rage toward those to whom you clearly feel inferior, but then you mentioned you have a child old enough to skate at Osborne. That’s a frightening thought.

    You’re all over the place ( hiding behind a screen name of course ) with your wild assumptions, accusations and silly stereotypes and cliches about everyone in Rye — but you, of course.
    Cheating, corruption, discrimination, drugs, really?
    MILFs, Crackberry…blah blah blah. Can you resort to any more tired cliches?
    If your “skater blog” is more of the same, you’ve chosen the right venue.

    PS As to your random points – I have no problem with the F or the C word in context, I did not have a conservative upbringing, I don’t drive an SUV and my nephew manages a skate park. So much for your powers of perception.

  12. I’m sure Single is happy that you’ve made his point for him. The fact that cheating, corruption, lies, drugs have become cliches in Rye proves his point…so common, so accepted that you’ve become numb to it all. Nice morality you have in the God fearing land of Rye, NY. Now go pack your bags for your yearly Snowbird trip to Florida.

  13. Now Char Mi, you aren’t getting personal about my offspring, are you? Tsk, Tsk. Remember your manners, dear. Holden? Jeez, that is dating yourself. And, your boring classicism was snuffed out 120 years ago, missy. And, Cheech is right. The fact that you find the sordid lifestyle of your neighbors to be so common place that such observations are banal proves that even a “blue collar” schoolmarm from Upstate will lose perspective all too easily by spending too much time in the bubble. And, yes, it’s blogging…it’s random…Post-Modern, even. So, put down Jane Austen, turn off A Room With a View, pour yourself a whiskey, throw on some Sonny Rollins and introduce yourself to William S. Burroughs.

  14. “Random”? What are you, twelve years old?

    It’s clear to me we have sock puppets here. All “four” of you write way too similarly.

    The sordid behavior in which you fantasize rich Rye housewives engage is the product of your fertile adolescent mind. That’s mind – singular.

    I’m sure there are not four people in Rye who want to “expose” Rye on the blogs and who, coincidently, all read the same story on the same day about stop signs and poetry no less.

    So continue with your silly cliches, “LILLY” white, snowbirds, the bubble, banal.. blah blah …
    or better yet go post it on that blog that’ll get about 10 hits a month.

    And throwing William S Burroughs and Jane Austen in there doesn’t prove you’re literate when you talk about moving to FORT GREEN Brooklyn.
    There is no FORT GREEN in Brooklyn. If you lived there you would know that.

    Sock Puppets are as bad as spam.

  15. Wow, Jay. Quite a day of contributions. Seems like there are other topics of interest to some subset of the Rye community besides building projects, [good] government, public safety, health, home renovation projects, etc. I hope that all of this back and forth generates whatever goes for ratings in the blogosphere.

    But man, if people think that the drug management, spouse swapping (equal opportunity) going on in Rye is new, different, etc., then they’re probably living in their very own bubble. The “insights” included in the spam-blog are not new – they’ve been covered over and over again in all kinds of novels, but each generation has discover for itself the same truths. Great for the dude who’s writing his own tell-all. Hopefully it will help him work out his problems. But please. He’s had his 15 minutes of fame. Let’s move on.

  16. I’m sure you’ll read this in the morning, as it’s clearly past your bed time.

    C’mon Snowbird, get it right. Duh! Need new reading glasses or is or your reading through the bottom of your empty wine glass?

    Fort Greene, maybe you have heard of places like BAM? Probably not, too urban and cultured for a Snowbird.


    Maybe he had a typo, but that’s because we write on the fly, what’s next you want us to proof out Tweets! too? You should see the Tweets out there about you.

    I hear there’s a swapping party tonight, somewhere on Milton Point? What time are you going? The Black Label Society will be there around 9pm.

    And, yeah, we write similarly because we’re all Gen X. Good nite Baby Boomer.

  17. Bob

    You made some excellent points to the City Council tonight on the reasoning behind raising fines. If no one is enforcing the law what difference does it make if the fines are $10, $100 or $1,000. Unfortunately, your thoughts were ignored by our elected officials.

    It is ironic that in the City of Rye on the 219th anniversary of our Bill of Rights we do not have government of the people, by the people and for the people.

  18. No- not past my bed time – just got back from a council meeting.
    You write the same because you’re the same person.
    Three new people don’t show up within hours of each other and use the same expressions.
    “Random”? that’s not Gen X – that’s 15 year olds with X boxes.
    Anyway, regarding Fort Greene – you all said you lived in Fort Green. If you lived there you’d know how to spell it.
    So you outed at least one of your puppets.
    People who blog can tell someone posting, then posting in agreement with himself, then seconding it, in a minute.
    We get that you want people to read your lousy blog. Good luck with that.
    If you keep spamming, Jay will eventually get tired of giving you free ad space and block your IP.
    I know, you say it’s censorship.
    Too bad.
    It’s not hard to see why you’re single with your attitude toward women.

  19. @Really – I just read your post. That council meeting was a trip, no?
    I missed Bob speaking but I didn’t miss hearing Doug French say he didn’t need to meet with any department heads – even the police commissioner – before crafting his budget. Except, of course, the golf course. He met with the golf course people.
    For everything else he relied on our city manager.
    So the question is – why do we have a mayor and a council?
    Let’s eliminate that whole charade and we’ll save a lot more than the 150K they propose to cut from the Rye police department – which of course no one can explain.
    Let’s name our city manager czar and we can all stay home on Wednesday nights.

    Btw – if you tune in on Rye cable, you can see for yourself that the budget that French is foisting on us is one of which he himself has little understanding.
    The best example is where he didn’t know the head count at the police department.
    If we had a force in the 5 figures that might be forgiven, but when the issue is cutting uniformed positions and we’re debating how many constitutes “enough” , the MAYOR should know how many we have, no?
    How can you defend with any credibility a budget you don’t understand?

  20. Sorry, Snowbird…but I don’t know the SortaSingle cat…I will write a blog for them, or him, but those cats don’t socialize. I’ve tried…they’re like trying to get to know Buckethead. You know Buckethead, right, Snowbird? Course not…

    Snowbird is nothing more than a 4th rate, unpublished writer and non-bloggah, whose claim to infamy is getting a letter posted on Salon.com years ago. She goes to Rye city council meetings and is a 4th rate critic.

    Snowbird is about consuming – the Rye norm – and not creating.

    Rye Cops budget being cut? Dang, their biggest battle is a keeping the Preparation H flowing ’cause all them fools do is ride around, ride around, ride around, ride around and, then, hassle the wrong people. Who cares?

    Yeah…critics. Suckas like you with not an original idea in your head. I pegged you early on, Schoolmarm. Your sad Salon.com “letter” is the proof.

    Do nothing. Accomplish nothing. Sit in the audience at council meetings in a tiny town and then blog to the converted about it your judgments of a Mayor trying to do a job that you couldn’t do in your lucid dreams.

    Why don’t you run for office, sweetheart? C’mon, u da Man!

    With your ability to write a speech like an automaton and you ability to put readers to sleep, I’m sure you’d slay the competition.

    And, jeez-us…what’s with the rhetorical questions, that’s dull, no? What are we, in Paris?

    Vous êtes stupide américaine, non?

    And, you apparent effort to not end sentences in prepositions – schoolmarm – went out of fashion 60 years ago.

    Grammarians, editors, proofreaders…blah – zero talent so you turn to being a 4th rate critic in Rye.

    So as I hit out tomorrow to design a new board and ride an Ollie, you’ll be writing your paint-by-numbers commentaries on local politics. And, at 3pm when I need a nap, I’ll log on just to ensure I fall asleep…

    And, sorry…we bloggers are not the same. We are bandits, it comes and goes, we congregate, and blog on each other’s blogs, we tag with our URLs and that’s a bloggah’s life, and them’s the breaks. We are digital reincarnations of Jean-Michel Basquait. And, you ain’t no Schnabel.

    Damn, I bet you don’t even know which restaurant has Schnabel’s work on their wall in the West Village. Go ahead, enlighten us.

    Now remember your cheesy mantra and your lame grammarian lifestyle and download some Biggie Smalls to get wit it:

    “This is the sort of bloody nonsense up with which I will not put.”

    Jay and Bob – Clerks – The Black Label Society is outta here. Snowbird and her pedestrian prose and lack of flavor is a profound bore.

    So, we ride on. (BTW: good luck trying to block a single IP address, your inspiration – China – just locks the whole firewall down. Ya pretty much can’t block a single IP. Just add an approval stage to your process. Standard. Though, the traffic must be nice.)

    As for SortaSingle…good luck, dude(s), I noticed you cats didn’t log on and comment on this rhetoric, which is cool. Let your work speak for itself, as you have. People like Chairman don’t use chairs at museums (if she even goes) because she’s too ADD and superior to spend a few hours gazing at a single painting…”i don’t get it” and off to the salad bar she goes.

    BTW: Dull as Hell Charmain…the proper perspective on Rye, from you, should have been..and you too Bob or Jay or whatever, that, yeah, Rye has it’s sordid side…Apapwamis can be insane at times…cheating, drugs at The Pub…but there are some cool people here…like at Shenerock, Kelly’s Sea Level, the YMCA and though we accept the Wall Street crowd…Rye has been, and always will be, a Sound Shore community that thrives in spite of such shenanigans.

    Char Mi…you’re like the cheater who rationalizes the cheating, the dope head who needs another fix and will say anything to get it, the person who won’t fixate on her reflection for fear of recognizing who and what her town really is.

    Yeah, I’ve seen the cheating, the drugs, the heartbreaks, the families torn to shreds by it, the arranged marriages where Mr. Wall Street flips the wife $15K a month to shut up and they both roll off to do what they want.

    We may be bandits, wind up artists, bloggahs, digital graffiti artists, jerks, punks, Warholian in our pursuit of 15 minutes of fame, as you said, Bob, but this is what we are not:

    We are not LIARS. We are not CHEATS.

    And those people – those you defend – they are liars, cheats, immoral, scum of the Earth and be it biblical or not…time brings all things to light.

    Cya at the skate park, when it opens in April.

    Skater78 (yeah, Milton parent.) Boy-eee!

  21. RyeSkater – Never said that you were – a cheat, that is. Nor am I, but that wasn’t my point. Maybe it’s yours, but you sure take a long time to make it. Good luck avoiding oncoming traffic rolling through stop signs, stop lights, etc while you skate your way to what ever nirvana you’re seeking.

  22. Really?!? –

    “It is ironic that in the City of Rye on the 219th anniversary of our Bill of Rights we do not have government of the people, by the people and for the people.”

    Are you permanently stoned? Every one of the members of the city council are fellow residents and citizens. They were elected by the people, and they act in the interests of the people.

    I guess if I were as clueless as you, I’d hide behind a silly moniker also.

  23. Rye Skater,

    I’m curious to know when your kid(s) are being harassed by the RPD while skating at Osborn Elementary:

    During school hours, directly after (3:05) school dismissal, long after (4:00) school dismissal, on the weekends???

  24. Avg Citizen: We never skate during prime hours…usually when it’s empty. We’ve been (I’ve been there) booted from Osborne, Milton, the library (when closed) forget riding on the street (long board) unless it’s a back street. And, we can never get an explanation as to why we can’t ride. It’s just “because.” And, even when I’m there, it’s wrought with attitude. When I’m not there, adults have been known to yell at the kids. This is nothing new, for decades we’ve seen it against skaters…despite it being a hugely popular sport now…still looked down upon…which is fine, it is a sub culture of rebellion, non-conformity…we just wanna skate and haven’t ever been known to harm anyone or anything.

  25. Above Avg,Rye Skater,

    I inquired into this. I was told that it is the Schools that do not want this.

    Some Cops, NOT ALL, in all towns, not just here in RYE, think that a BADGE & a GUN comes with the entitlement to DISRESPECT, hence the ATTITUDE!
    I for one don’t stand for it, as no one should!
    Don’t really get it, but, it is what it is!

    Why are out of town residents (Port Chester, Mamaroneck) allowed to use the School Properties for BasketBall and Soccer whenever they please but not the same very people who pay the tax levy these properties carry???

    My suggestion: Address the City Council and City Manager at a Council Meeting and the BOE @ a BOE Meeting!
    Also, Skate when there are out of town users using the property and then have them tell you that you can’t….
    won’t that make for a nice DISCRIMINATION LAW SUIT!

    If this continues and I see these “out of town users” using the school grounds, I will be right along side you LOUD AND CLEAR!!!

  26. Jim, thanks! Finally, someone with a sense of clarity. I will email and do what I can…and yeah, the badge and a gun reference reminds me of N.W.A.’s F the Police lyrics. I remember 21 years ago when Straight Outta Compton came out, and they were on the cover of the Village Voice: Wanted By The F.B.I. I thought was so cool…a music act on F.B.I’s most wanted list. Ha Ha!

    I wish the schools and town would realize the fun, cool culture they’re missing out on with skating…if they’d only tune into ESPN to watch, or YouTube, we could embrace it rather than forcing the kids underground, which is never good. Tony Hawk is about as cool and mainstream as it gets.


  27. And, Jim re: Badge and a gun, God bless that you don’t stand for some of their sense of entitlement and attitude. I met a guy – skating – who was an “out of towner” and dated a beach club woman from Rye. They broke up, the usual emails back and forth, apparently nothing too crazy, and the cops were literally calling and emailing him threatening him to go away “or else.” He took it to their LT, who said they were out of line and it was not a police matter…this guy retained a lawyer and they stopped, for now…but, how silly…cops using their power vested in them by the State of NY and town of Rye to do a personal favor when this law abiding citizen was doing nothing illegal, nothing unlawful – even according to their won LT., and their peers. If true, and can only imagine at least some of his story was true – sad. Seemed like Brian Dennehy in Rambo.

  28. Rye Skater,

    You are welcome and thank you.

    My opinion, kids know the law and their rights less than anyone.
    They are an easy target for Officers who seem to think it is okay to take advantage of their Badge and the Children!

    In defense of the school and the cops, I see kids all the time with NO protective gear and when they are on the school grounds they are jumping off stairways, walls and riding down railings!
    I witness this going on everyday on the front side of Midland School! To me, that is insane with no head gear and probably a major liability for the BOE!

    All this being said: there needs to be some kind of dialogue between the City, Schools, Police, Parents, and ofcourse the Kids!
    But no, instead of educating the kids along with themselves on the situation, they as usual bully the taxpayers and the kids with decisions made behind closed doors and badges!


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