Tom “Torch” Barber was happiest with his feet off the ground. He loved being on the water or in the air. At nine years old he was “working” at Rye, New York’s Playland Amusement Park, helping to run the motorboat concession – a job he loved. In retirement, he spent lots of time on the water once again, sailing around in his (dreamed of) boat the “Mission Accomplished.” On his first airplane trip as a child, he became fascinated with flying, a feeling that would later lead to flying lessons in Vermont and a twenty-three-year career flying fighter jets for the U.S. Air Force.
Born on July 26, 1944, he was the middle child of Richard and Frances Barber, a lawyer/city judge and legal secretary respectively. He grew up with four siblings: his brother Richard (Marilyn), his sisters, Patricia Spacavento, Marylou Harvey, and Joan Syp (Mitchell), all who survive him. He was a challenging child. He once drove the family car through the garage wall and displayed his conservative bent toward having and saving money by charging the neighborhood kids for passage through the Barbers’ backyard!
Tom attended Catholic schools throughout his life, finishing at St. Michael’s College, Bulington, VT, where he joined ROTC and graduated as a first lieutenant in the U.S. Air Force. Helping to pin on his rank on June 6, 1966, was his future wife Joanne. Married in 1967, he is survived by her and their three children, Tom, Chris and Nicole (James) and their five grandchildren, Owen, Dylan, Olivia, Jimmy and Joey.
Upon completing pilot training, Tom was thrilled to be assigned to “fighters” and began preparations to serve in Vietnam. Flying 207 missions, receiving many commendations; but sadly losing many compadres and learning firsthand that war is indeed hell. He was then assigned to Bitburg Air Force Base, West Germany. There, Tom, Joanne, their two little boys and the baby girl destined to be born there, would find precious lifelong friends, wonderful travel opportunities, and the basics for their future years as an Air Force family. Tom’s proudest moments as an Air Force officer came when he received two command assignments: the first in 1981 as Commander of the 94th Tactical Fighter Squadron, Langley AFB, Virginia, known as the Hat-in-the-Ring squadron; the second in 1986 as Commander of the 48th Tactical Fighter Wing, RAF Lakenheath, United Kingdom, known as the Liberty Wing. During his varied career, in addition to flying in training aircraft, (the T38 being a favorite) Tom piloted the F4 Phantom, the F15 Eagle, and the F111 Aardvark.
Tom retired from the air force in 1988 and had a successful second career as an executive with several businesses until his civilian retirement in 2016.
He loved his family, his friends, his country, his boat, a good book, and a Beefeater on the rocks with a couple of olives. Above all, he loved to laugh and have fun! Tom’s big toothy grin and the devilish glint in his sparkling blue eyes will long be remembered. Fly safe, dear Tom, we will miss you.
Arrangements: A Mass will be held at St. John of the Cross Church, 1263 West Street in Middlebury, CT 06762 on Friday, May 3, 2024 at 11:00 am. Following the service, as Tom requested, please join the family for a party to celebrate his wonderful life! 72 Nick Road Middlebury CT, the home of Nicole Barber and James Christiano. Final disposition will be at Arlington National Cemetery at a date and time to be announced. Brookside Memorial/The Albini Family Funeral Home & Crematory, 200 Benson Road, Middlebury has been entrusted with Tom’s arrangements.
In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions can be made in Tom’s memory to:
Lewy Body Dementia Association, Inc.
912 Killian Hill Road SW
Lilburn, GA 30047
