(PHOTO: To combat flooding, the new Rye Aquatic Resilience & Biodiversity Preservation Ordinance (RARBPO) requires every single-family homeowner to purchase and maintain a watercraft of at least 30 feet in length—parked curbside and ready for immediate deployment. Credit: THE RYE ONION Fake News, Really Rye. A Satirical Series Presented by MyRye.com. Image created with AI.)
(PHOTO: To combat flooding, the new Rye Aquatic Resilience & Biodiversity Preservation Ordinance (RARBPO) requires every single-family homeowner to purchase and maintain a watercraft of at least 30 feet in length—parked curbside and ready for immediate deployment. Credit: THE RYE ONION Fake News, Really Rye. A Satirical Series Presented by MyRye.com. Image created with AI.)

By MyRye.com Staff (April 1 Edition)

In what officials are calling a “bold, forward-thinking, and slightly nautical” response to increasingly frequent flooding, the City of Rye has unveiled a sweeping new mandate requiring every single-family homeowner to purchase and maintain a watercraft of at least 30 feet in length—parked curbside and ready for immediate deployment.

The initiative, formally titled the Rye Aquatic Resilience & Biodiversity Preservation Ordinance (RARBPO), was unanimously approved late Monday night during a special session of Rye City Council  following what sources described as “a spirited but ultimately buoyant discussion” among council members.

A New Normal: Floods That “Used to Be 100-Year Events”

City officials cited the growing frequency of severe storms overwhelming both the Blind Brook and Beaver Swamp Brook watersheds, leading to repeated flooding across neighborhoods from Milton Point to the Glen Oaks area.

“We can no longer rely on outdated concepts like ‘100-year storms,’” said Mayor Josh Nathan at a press conference Tuesday held—symbolically—ankle-deep in standing water by the Rye YMCA and the recently collapsed wall along the Blind Brook. “In Rye, these storms seem to happen about every 18 months now. It’s time we adapt.”

(PHOTO: To combat flooding, the new Rye Aquatic Resilience & Biodiversity Preservation Ordinance (RARBPO) requires every single-family homeowner to purchase and maintain a watercraft of at least 30 feet in length—parked curbside and ready for immediate deployment. Credit: THE RYE ONION Fake News, Really Rye. A Satirical Series Presented by MyRye.com. Image created with AI.)
(PHOTO: To combat flooding, the new Rye Aquatic Resilience & Biodiversity Preservation Ordinance (RARBPO) requires every single-family homeowner to purchase and maintain a watercraft of at least 30 feet in length—parked curbside and ready for immediate deployment. Credit: THE RYE ONION Fake News, Really Rye. A Satirical Series Presented by MyRye.com. Image created with AI.)

The 30-Foot Rule (and Yes, It’s Measured Properly)

Under the new law, each single-family household must:

  • Purchase a watercraft of at least 30 feet in length
  • Maintain it in operational condition year-round
  • Park it directly in front of their residence, regardless of Board of Architectural Review or Planning Commission objections or driveway limitations

City officials clarified that inflatable rafts, paddleboards, and “novelty swan-shaped vessels” will not meet compliance standards.

“We’re talking seaworthy,” said Rye Harbor Master Rodrigo Paulino, CMM, who insiders report has been a buoyant  confidant to the mayor and Rye City Manager Brian Shea in developing the ark mandate. “If it can’t handle Long Island Sound in a mild squall, it probably won’t cut it on Purchase Street.”

(PHOTO: A Rye Sustainability Committee volunteer readies a red-tailed hawk to go boating with a Upper Dogwood Lane family. Credit: THE RYE ONION Fake News, Really Rye. A Satirical Series Presented by MyRye.com. Image created with AI.)
(PHOTO: A Rye Sustainability Committee volunteer readies a red-tailed hawk to go boating with a Upper Dogwood Lane family. Credit: THE RYE ONION Fake News, Really Rye. A Satirical Series Presented by MyRye.com. Image created with AI.)

Family, Pets… and an Assigned Species

In perhaps the most innovative—and widely discussed—aspect of the plan, each household must ensure their vessel can accommodate:

  • All immediate family members
  • Any visiting relatives, including mothers-in-law (no exceptions granted)
  • All pets except cats, which the ordinance notes are “widely understood to be self-evacuating”
  • At least two members of an assigned local species

Each Rye homeowner will be assigned a species from a list of over 100 animals native to the Rye area. Early assignments reportedly include:

  • Red-tailed hawks
  • Eastern gray squirrels
  • Yellow-bellied sapsuckers
  • Occasional “highly motivated” raccoons

The species component is being coordinated in partnership with the Rye Sustainability Committee, which emphasized the ecological importance of the initiative.

“This is about resilience—not just for people, but for all living things that call Rye home,” said Committee Chair Hilary Garland. “Frankly, Noah had the right idea. We’re just modernizing it with rabies vaccinations, training in animal care and optional teak decking.”

(PHOTO: High Street resident Forrest Regeneration prepares his assigned opossum to board his family ark. Credit: THE RYE ONION Fake News, Really Rye. A Satirical Series Presented by MyRye.com. Image created with AI.)
(PHOTO: High Street resident Forrest Regeneration prepares his assigned opossum to board his family ark. Credit: THE RYE ONION Fake News, Really Rye. A Satirical Series Presented by MyRye.com. Image created with AI.)
(PHOTO: Greenhaven residents Swifty and Fluid Waters, with their daiughter Editda and dog Currency during an evacuation drill. Credit: THE RYE ONION Fake News, Really Rye. A Satirical Series Presented by MyRye.com. Image created with AI.)
(PHOTO: Greenhaven residents Swifty and Fluid Waters, with their daiughter Editda and dog Currency during an evacuation drill. Credit: THE RYE ONION Fake News, Really Rye. A Satirical Series Presented by MyRye.com. Image created with AI.)

One Month of Supplies Required

Each vessel must be stocked with enough food, water, animal feed and supplies to last a minimum of 30 days. Recommended items include:

  • Non-perishable food (for humans and the homeowner’s assigned species)
  • Freshwater storage systems
  • Portable sanitation units
  • Binoculars (for bird-related assignments)
  • “Emotionally supportive snacks” including at least one dozen bacon, egg and cheese sandwiches from Jerry’s Post Road Market

City officials also recommend labeling all supplies clearly, particularly in multi-species households.

Fire Department to Conduct “Live Flood Drills”

To ensure readiness, the Rye Fire Department will conduct a series of mandatory live-action flood drills throughout May, led by Captain Clyde Pitts.

“These won’t be your typical drills,” Captain Pitts said. “We’ll be simulating real flood conditions—sirens, rising water projections, possibly even some method-acting squirrels. Residents should be prepared to launch within minutes.”

He added that early pilot drills revealed “some confusion” among residents attempting to coax assigned wildlife aboard their vessels.

“One homeowner on Kirby Lane spent 45 minutes negotiating with a hawk,” Pitts noted. “We’re working on training materials.”

Mixed Reactions from Residents

Reaction across Rye has been… fluid.

“I just renovated my house—now I need to buy a boat too?” said Board of Education trustee Matthew Schibanoff, who lives off Midland Avenue. “And I’ve been assigned two opossums. I don’t even know where to start.”

Others were more optimistic.

“We’ve always wanted a boat,” said a Milton Point family. “We didn’t expect it to come with squirrels, but we’re open-minded.”

Local marinas have reported a surge in inquiries, while local Rye firm Lorono Construction has begun advertising “boat-compatible curb modifications.”

Looking Ahead

Mayor Nathan acknowledged the program may require adjustments but remains confident in its long-term value.

“Rye has always been a waterfront community,” he said. “This just ensures every resident is fully… committed to that identity.”

When asked whether the city might consider alternative flood mitigation strategies—such as expanded drainage infrastructure or upstream retention projects—officials indicated those options remain “under review,” pending the outcome of the first round of household ark deployments.

In the meantime, residents are encouraged to begin sourcing vessels immediately.

As one city official put it: “The waters are rising. It’s time to get on board.”

THE RYE ONION
Fake News, Really Rye
A Satirical Series Presented by MyRye.com. All stories are fictional and intended to comment on real local issues. MyRye.com’s news reporting remains factual and independent.

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(PHOTO: To combat flooding, the new Rye Aquatic Resilience & Biodiversity Preservation Ordinance (RARBPO) requires every single-family homeowner to purchase and maintain a watercraft of at least 30 feet in length—parked curbside and ready for immediate deployment. Credit: THE RYE ONION Fake News, Really Rye. A Satirical Series Presented by MyRye.com. Image created with AI.)
(PHOTO: To combat flooding, the new Rye Aquatic Resilience & Biodiversity Preservation Ordinance (RARBPO) requires every single-family homeowner to purchase and maintain a watercraft of at least 30 feet in length—parked curbside and ready for immediate deployment. Credit: THE RYE ONION Fake News, Really Rye. A Satirical Series Presented by MyRye.com. Image created with AI.)

Jay Sears is the owner and publisher of MyRye.com. He is a 20+ year Rye resident. Contact MyRye.com: https://myrye.com/tips

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